It’s been four months since I lost my dear chocolate lab, Grizzly. He was 10.5 years old. I’ve listened to many clients, friends, family and colleagues who have lost a pet, but have never experienced it myself.
Every time I step outside, walk by his favourite places to sleep, hike in the woods, hear the opening of a peanut butter jar (to name a few), my dear Grizzly comes to mind. Recent research has described the bond between humans and animals similar to the bond between two humans, therefore, the loss can be just as profound.
Individuals experiencing pet loss can often experience disenfranchised grief: a tendency for society to invalidate the grief. While it’s acceptable to grieve the loss of a human, individuals grieving the loss of a pet may be expected to “move on” or describe the loss as “just a pet.” Disenfranchised grief can lead individuals to conceal their grief and/or feel isolated, possibly intensifying their grief.
Personally, I have felt comfortable talking about my grief and have felt supported by others. Here are a few things that have helped me throughout my grieving process:
Writing down memories of Grizzly
Taking time to look at photos and videos
Embracing and experiencing emotions as they arise (e.g., a good cry)
Creating a memorial
Talking about him to others (e.g., memories, grief)
Connecting with others’ who have lost pets
“To lose such a friend is not just to have a sudden hole where they used to be. There are constant reminders of time spent together, threads in the tapestry of daily life left ragged and loose.”
Melissa Starling, The Conversation
References and Further Reading for Pet Loss:
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement: https://www.aplb.org/coping-with-grief/
Overcoming the Social Stigma of Losing a Pet: Considerations for Counselling Professionals: https://www.cabidigitallibrary.org/doi/10.1079/hai.2022.0022
Profound Grief for a Pet is Normal - How to Help Yourself or a Friend Weather the Loss of a Beloved Family Member: https://medicalxpress.com/news/2022-11-profound-grief-pet-normalhow-friend.html