What is Counselling Therapy?

I wanted to begin my first post of 2024 with an introduction to counselling therapy. I am a Registered Counselling Therapist, a registered professional title in Nova Scotia that is governed by the Nova Scotia College of Counselling Therapists.

““We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet (active) listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.”

— Carl Rogers

Many of my clients are accessing therapy for the first time, which is often anxiety-provoking in itself. What happens in a therapy session? It depends on who you ask. In my practice, I use a non-directive approach where the client is the expert and I am a guide to help the client develop self-awareness and navigate roadblocks. I use an informal conversational approach, embedded with evidenced-based techniques. Learn more about the definition of psychotherapy and related FAQ.

I typically focus therapy sessions around a client’s current functioning and situation with a future-oriented approach to help the client identify steps to achieve meaningful change in their life. I explore a client’s thoughts, emotions and behaviour relevant to their concerns to help determine areas of focus. My therapeutic framework is grounded in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I generally follow a short-term counselling model, with referral to additional supports and long-term services as required.

To learn more about our services and determine whether they are a good fit for your needs, please contact us to schedule a brief phone intake.

Life Transitions

From infancy through death, we experience life transitions, including: learning to survive outside of the womb, emerging adulthood, and retirement. The transition to adulthood includes many predictable life experiences, such as: career, education, developing a sense of self and living independently. Given today’s labour market and the high cost of living, emerging adults often face many challenges as they attempt to move through typical milestones. A study completed with fourth year university students identified a sense of purpose as an important factor to support the transition through adulthood (Karbainova and Barker, 2022).

How do we cope with life transitions, both expected and unexpected? As identified above, having a sense of purpose and meaning in life often increases life satisfaction. When we experience a significant change (e.g., loss, moving, career transition, retirement), we may have difficulty coping or adapting. The transition to retirement typically has psychological effects from a loss of structure and self identity (Osborne, 2012). Recommendations for those approaching retirement include: taking short breaks or leave from work (as able) to explore an alternative lifestyle, diversity in activities upon retirement (e.g., recreational, hobbies, social) and individual counselling to process difficult emotions or life circumstances.

Coping Skills

The following steps can be helpful coping mechanisms as we emerge through life transitions:

• Developing a new structure and routine

• Perceive the change as a challenge and adopt a problem-solving approach

• Accessing social and family support

• Prepare ahead of time for an expected change or transition

• Reflect on how the change has impacted your life

• Consider the positive aspects of the life transition

• Healthy living and Self-care (e.g., diet, physical activity)

Resources

1. The Transition from University to Work: The Positive Influence of Purpose in Life and Social Support, Karbainova and Barker, 2022

2. Psychological Effects of the Transition to Retirement, Osborne, 2012

3. 10 Ways to Make it Through Your Life’s Transitions, Psychology Today, 2017

What is Self-Care?

The International Center for Self Care Research defines self-care as involving self-care maintenance (e.g., taking prescribed medication) , self-care monitoring (e.g., observing symptoms) and self-care management (e.g., adjusting lifestyle). Self-care is important for both healthy individuals and those with health conditions. Self-care may involve health promotion behaviours (e.g., exercise, healthy diet) or symptom management (e.g., medication, medical appointments).

I often hear clients refer to self-care as “selfish.” I remind clients that in order to effectively care for others and have positive interpersonal relations, we first need to take care of ourselves.

Self-care activities do not have to be expensive or time-consuming. Spending 15 minutes enjoying a hot cup of coffee, or sitting outside during a lunch break are forms of self-care.

Ideas for Self-Care:

• Organize a room

• Call a friend

• Make a craft

• Visit a local park, museum or art gallery

• Learn a new skill

• Join a recreational class

• Cook or bake

• Cross something off your to-do list

• Exercise

• Get a massage

• Go for a walk

• Listen to music or a podcast

• Make art

• Meditation

• Mindfulness exercises

• Play a game

• Practice deep breathing

• Read

• Take a bath

• Take a (timed) nap

• Watch TV or a movie

• Yoga

Self-Care Tips: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/07/self-care https://www.verywellmind.com/self-care-strategies-overall-stress-reduction-3144729 https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health

References http://www.selfcareresearch.org/ https://www.activeminds.org/about-mental-health/self-care/

“Self-care is not selfish. You must fill your own cup before you can pour into others.” - Active Minds

Pet Loss and Grief

It’s been four months since I lost my dear chocolate lab, Grizzly. He was 10.5 years old. I’ve listened to many clients, friends, family and colleagues who have lost a pet, but have never experienced it myself.

Every time I step outside, walk by his favourite places to sleep, hike in the woods, hear the opening of a peanut butter jar (to name a few), my dear Grizzly comes to mind. Recent research has described the bond between humans and animals similar to the bond between two humans, therefore, the loss can be just as profound.

Individuals experiencing pet loss can often experience disenfranchised grief: a tendency for society to invalidate the grief. While it’s acceptable to grieve the loss of a human, individuals grieving the loss of a pet may be expected to “move on” or describe the loss as “just a pet.” Disenfranchised grief can lead individuals to conceal their grief and/or feel isolated, possibly intensifying their grief.

Personally, I have felt comfortable talking about my grief and have felt supported by others. Here are a few things that have helped me throughout my grieving process:

• Writing down memories of Grizzly

• Taking time to look at photos and videos

• Embracing and experiencing emotions as they arise (e.g., a good cry)

• Creating a memorial

• Talking about him to others (e.g., memories, grief)

• Connecting with others’ who have lost pets

“To lose such a friend is not just to have a sudden hole where they used to be. There are constant reminders of time spent together, threads in the tapestry of daily life left ragged and loose.”

Melissa Starling, The Conversation

References and Further Reading for Pet Loss:

Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement: https://www.aplb.org/coping-with-grief/

Overcoming the Social Stigma of Losing a Pet: Considerations for Counselling Professionals: https://www.cabidigitallibrary.org/doi/10.1079/hai.2022.0022

Profound Grief for a Pet is Normal - How to Help Yourself or a Friend Weather the Loss of a Beloved Family Member: https://medicalxpress.com/news/2022-11-profound-grief-pet-normalhow-friend.html

New Year's Resolutions - How to Set Achievable Goals

“A new year, a new you” is a common phrase as we enter into a new year. While new year’s resolutions can be motivating and lead to positive change, they can also lead to anxiety and discouragement if we do not reach our desired outcomes.

When considering my goals for the upcoming year, I took some time to reflect on what I value in life and how I can set goals that are meaningful to me.

To learn about your values, try this short values assessment here: Values Assessment

A study completed by Oscarsson et al. (2020) on the success rate of New Year’s resolutions identified the following components in successful goal-setting:

1.     Support from Family and Friends

Communicate your goals to those who will support you in your journey. Update them on your progress and discuss any challenges you encounter.

2.     SMART Goals:

a.     Specific

b.    Measurable

c.     Achievable

d.    Relevant

e.     Time-oriented

Goals that are vague without a specific description can be overwhelming and lead to procrastination or failure. For example: “eat three healthy meals per week” as opposed to “eat healthy.” Having specific goals allows you to track progress and feel successful. It’s important that goals are relevant to you. We often hear people set goals around physical activity and nutrition; however, these may not be important to everyone. Try completing the Values exercise listed above to help identify what’s meaningful to you. It’s also helpful to have a time-frame for when you want to achieve your goals. For example: “seeing 50% progress within three months.”

3.     Achievable in the immediate future as opposed to long-term goals

Goals that require a longer duration to see results can often lead to failure. For example: purchasing a home or taking a vacation. Try breaking the goal down into something achievable in the immediate future. For example: “complete research on mortgages” or “save $100 from each paycheque toward a trip.” 

4.     Approach-oriented goals vs. avoidance-oriented goals

Research has demonstrated that approach-oriented goals (i.e., striving toward a desired outcome) typically lead to greater success as opposed to avoiding an undesirable outcome. For example: “watch television for a maximum of 5 hours per week” as opposed to “reduce time spent watching television.”

I hope everyone has a healthy and happy start to the new year!

Reference

https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0234097&utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20201229&utm_term=5066713&utm_campaign=money&utm_id=56209642&orgid=671

Return to In-Person Services

It has been more than two years since services through Sarah Hopkins Counselling have been offered in-person. I am looking forward to connecting with clients without a screen as a barrier. Please see the information below on office location and hours:

Availability for in-person services:

Monday: 9:00 - 4:00pm

Location: Business Centre in the Hammonds Plains area (please contact for more details on office location)

What Motivates You?

September is quickly approaching….

Personally, I view September as a time to set new goals and resume routines. This requires motivation. We all have days where we feel less motivated to engage in productive tasks or enjoyable activities. We may also lack motivation if we experience mental health symptoms such as: depression or anxiety.

Motivation typically evolves through external rewards (e.g., money) or internal desires (e.g., the joy of engaging in a task). Research demonstrates the importance of the latter form of motivation: intrinsic motivation:

“Intrinsic motivation is defined as the doing of an activity for its inherent satisfaction rather than for some separable consequence. When intrinsically motivated, a person is moved to act for the fun or challenge entailed rather than because of external products, pressures, or rewards.” (Ryan and Deci, 2000).

Take some time to reflect on what motivates you in your daily activities – does a clean house lead you to feel relaxed, or happy? When an item is checked off your list, do you feel a sense of accomplishment? Understanding your intrinsic motivators can be beneficial for helping you complete a task or reach a goal.

Further reading on motivation:

Drive – Daniel Pink (book)

Why We Do What We Do – Edward Deci (book)

The Self-Determination Theory of Motivation – Richard Ryan and Edward Deci (article) https://www.apa.org/members/content/intrinsic-motivation

Office Hours - Update

We are currently accepting new clients for Individual Counselling and Vocational Counselling.

Office Hours: Monday, Tuesday and Thursday 8:30am - 4:30pm

Contact us via phone or email and we will respond within the next business day.

Services continue to be offered virtually at this time.

Strategies to Reduce Anxiety: Stay Present and Grounded

The term “anxiety” has been a familiar word within the past few years - what does it really mean? The American Psychological Association provides the following definition:

“Anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.”

How do we reduce feelings of anxiety? Increased time spent in the present moment helps prevent us from ruminating on distressing thoughts leading to feelings of worry and anxiety. What can we do to focus on the present moment? Try to include pleasurable activities into your day, stay connected with others, engage in creative tasks and move your body.

10 Mindful Activities

Here are some ideas for activities to help you remain engaged and focused on the present moment:

1. Repot a Plant

2. Organize or declutter an area of your home

3. Listen to a podcast

4. Engage in physical activity (e.g., walk, stretch, dance, attend a fitness class)

5. Try a new recipe

6. Read a book, magazine or an article (try a hard copy as opposed to digital reading)

7. Set boundaries with your phone (e.g., unplug during certain time periods of the day)

8. Learn something new (e.g., learn a new skill, research a topic of interest)

9. Draw, paint or colour

10. Practice deep breathing (link below for a guided deep breathing exercise)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYQsRBNYdPk

Four Books for the New Year

Happy New Year! Here are a few of my favourite inspirational books.

Feeling Good - David Burns

A handbook to help analyze maladaptive thoughts and replace them with rational thoughts. This book is for everyone - we all experience negative thoughts that can lead to unpleasant emotions. The book contains helpful exercises and examples throughout to demonstrate how to change maladaptive thoughts.

Designing Your Life - Bill Burnett & Dave Evans

For anyone seeking a career change or starting to plan their future. Burnett & Evans are professors at Stanford University and teach a class in career design. This book has reflective exercises throughout to help identify what brings meaning to a person’s life and career.

The Gifts of Imperfection - Brené Brown

Brené Brown has several books that focus on self improvement. This book helps individuals identify blind spots and live authentically. “Vulnerability is bravery.”

The Moment of Lift - Melinda Gates

A book about gender equity and what others can do to advocate for gender equality. Melinda Gates shares her personal experiences and stories of empowering women.